Wednesday

I’m bad at life, I suck at it so much that sometimes it feels like you’d like to just quit and stop trying. It gets really bad and it annoys people around me. I get the “when will you get it all together” looks from people and that does not feel good at all. Those are valid sentiments about me, for Pete’s sake I’m 31 and my bank account has P4, I’m super neck deep in debt. I don’t know how to start digging myself out of the whole, I’ve already started but most of the time it feels like I’m digging deeper. I mean seriously, at 31 I should be driving my own car, a girlfriend, a pet maybe, my own house and probably super good at what I love doing. I feel stuck and it’s the mud’s getting thicker. It feels like I’ve wasted my time, poor decisions left and right. I’ve regrets but those can’t be fixed now. I can’t do anything but look ahead and try to make it bearable now.

Maybe I need to change the way I see things. Maybe just see it in a way others would see it. Maybe I should learn to trust myself again and not beat myself for underachieving in life. I can’t feel sorry for mysekf forever. It’s time to pick myself up and learn to roll with the punches.

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